Banjo-Kazooie

Banjo-Kazooie
Console: N64
Release Date: 1998

Elevator Pitch: BANJO-KAZOOIE is a mascot platformer that I somehow missed until it was included on 2015’s RARE REPLAY. Forgive me, for I have sinned… because this is an excellent game that mostly holds up. Gifted an arsenal of killer movies, you control a bear and a bird tasked with thwarting the plans of an ugly witch — so far, so good. Even to a first-time player, I still found 100% completion a time-worthy challenge and, most importantly, not at all a chore. Capped off by a final level that asks you to beat the same area four different times — one for each season of the year — BANJO-KAZOOIE’s world design still mostly feels ahead of its time.

Even better, the game ends by quizzing you on mundane information previously collected throughout your journey. Seriously, you finish the game by identifying pixelated, zoomed-in frames, the inarticulate sounds of NPCs, and remembering numerously disgusting facts about your antagonist. So, yes, this holds the hell up today.

Nostalgia/Stickwitu: 77/100
Gameplay/Does It Hold Up: 72/100
Replayability/Multiplayer: 63/100
Revolutionary/Uniquity: 68/100

Total: 70/100

1-2 Switch

1-2 Switch
Console: Switch
Release Date: 2017

Elevator Pitch: A truly awful game that saw Nintendo half-assedly attempt to recreate the magic of WII SPORTS. In theory, 1-2 Switch is a collection of mini-games built to exhibit the Joy-Con’s brand-new motion controls. Sadly, there’s no bowling to save the affair here and the art style Nintendo went with screams of a cheap attempt to manufacture a party environment. Worst of all, this game was not packaged with new Switch consoles like WII SPORTS was… so it cost me $50 dollars and I’ve only played it twice.

I mean, just watch that insane trailer and recognize that it was made in 2017. You milk cows, shake soda cans, and do other strange wrist-to-arm motions that were last funny in 2007. Most of the selections last less than 30 seconds and are just ripped from MARIO PARTY mini-games that released two console generations ago.

I could not recommend this game any less.

Nostalgia/Stickwitu: 5/100
Gameplay/Does It Hold Up: 10/100
Replayability/Multiplayer: 10/100
Revolutionary/Uniquity: 30/100

Total: 13.75/100